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Latin Tourist Phrase Book

compiled by Miles Kington in response to the Vatican's support for Latin as the European language and reproduced here without his permission.
One doesn't need permission to publish great texts like this one !!

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Quid pro quo: the sterling exchange rate

Post hoc propter hoc: a little more white wine wouldn't hurt us

Ad hoc: wine not included

Adsum: small extras on the bill

Exempli gratia: token tip

Infra dig: terrible accommodation

Primus inter pares: the stove has fallen in the fire

Compos mentis: mint sauce

Carpe diem: fish frying tonight

Non anglii, sed angeli: fishing absolutely prohibited

Curriculum: Indian restaurant

Casus belli: gastro-enteritis

Sic transit gloria mundi: the nausea will pass away, and you'll be fine by Monday

O tempora o mores!: The Times is no more, alas!

Quis custodiet custodes ipsos: do you keep the Guardian?

Post meridiem: the Mail does not arrive until midday

Fiat lux: car wash

Rara avis: no car hire available

Volenti non fit injuria: the accident was caused by a badly fitted steering wheel

Reductio ad absurdum: road narrows

Nil obstat: River Nile impassable

Nil desperandum: River Nile overflowing

De minimis non curat lex: Lex garages cannot undertake to service small cars

Terminus ad quem: bus station for Quem (small Romanian town)

Caeteris paribus: restaurant facilities are available on the Paris coach

Post mortem: mail strike

Expostfacto: not known at this address

Sub rosa: rather unattractive Italian girl

Sal volatile: rather attractive Italian girl

Gloria in excelsis: very attractive Italian girl

Noli me tangere: I do not wish to dance with you

Ars longa, vita brevis: unsuitable bathing costume (literally: big bottom, small briefs)

Hic jacet: old-fashioned coat

Ecce homo: gay bar

Timeo Danaos et Dona Ferentes: that nice couple we met in Portugal

Mens sana: male massage parlour

Ex libris: dirty books

Ex cathedra: ruined church

Inter alia: an Italian airline

Summa cum laude: peak holiday period

In loco parentis: railway family compartment

Quondam: part of Holland reclaimed from the sea

Dum spiro: stupid Greek person

Festina lente: shops shut on Continent (literally: Lenten holiday)

Aut Caesar aut nihil: an Italian football result

Tertium quid: 33p